yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He shit in the fireplace
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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