I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
