Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize