Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
