I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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