If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
