I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
