i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
