yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
