You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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