If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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