if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
