you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize