I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
