I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
