I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
