..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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