please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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