I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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