did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
