Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
