I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
