We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
