i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
