It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
