her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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