When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
