I am in a vortex of obligation.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize