no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Alive.
So much puke
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize