No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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