you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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