can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
