but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
