Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize