the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
