All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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