he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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