she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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