Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
