She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
