Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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