So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
