Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
nutella sex= disaster
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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