john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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