I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
