yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
