Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
