My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
