you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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