Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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