susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
