We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
