I wish you could order shots online.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
