Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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