The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
