Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize