I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
