So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
