just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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