You smell like a Billy Joel song
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
