You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This is my gift to your gina
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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