Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
