p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
