I can tuck mytits in my pants
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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