By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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